Episode VIII, in which we discuss Star Trek Into Darkness, Spock’s bad “KHAAAAAAAAAAAN”, Century Stadium’s rat pit, confusion over Wolf 359, Muslim Slater, snoring like Huey, Dewey, and Louie, snorting Super Blood, Blood Hot Pocket sleeves, and Backdraft 2: Sexual Arsonist.
Episode VII, in which we discuss the Walking Dead (without Isaac), Carl’s imminent banging, zombie wind socks, Element Z, zombie bridges, Whips getting smashed by a car and coming back like Eddie Murphy in Trading Places, the Mandarin singing Father Figure, British pooping and American chests, Star Trek TV vs Stark Movies, Poonhound Kirk, Liz learning about “chiseling it”, Alyssa Milano’s sweater, Jedi workouts, a certain someone’s patronus, Leia’s coke nail and Jabba’s coke nostrils.
Do people still roll their joints on the jewel case for The Chronic? Do the kids these days ask their parents if they can borrow the cd and say they’ll give back in a day or two? You can’t roll joints on a digital download. Maybe they do a screen grab, paste it into a Word document, print it out, and then roll it on that.
If your last name is Hitler, how hard of a time do you have getting a sign made with a router at the State Fair?
So we’re watching the first episode of the Star Trek TOS (Yes, we know about the original pilot), The Man Trap, and at one point Uhura gives a message to Kirk while he’s on the bridge of the Enterprise.
Uhura: “Space Commander Dominguez says we have supplies he urgently needs.”
Kirk: “Tell Jose that he’ll get his chili peppers when we get there. Tell him they’re prime Mexican Reds, I hand picked them myself, but he won’t die if he goes a few more days without them. Got it?”
Uhura,”Got it, Captain.”
Wow. Kirk not only disliked Klingons but apparently Mexicans, too.
Episode VI, in which we, and by we, I mean Liz, discuss Tom Cruise’s off-center midline, Top Gun, pilot hard-ons, Gabriel’s drumstick ring, why Tony Scott committed suicide, shitty lyrics, getting over Goose’s death 3 minutes after it happened, keeping dog tags instead of giving them to the grieving widow and son, gross make-out sessions, Meg Ryan’s cock blocking, how much sweating goes in a Naval ship, and our “call” signs.
Now that we know there will be stand alone Star Wars movies, I can’t wait for the spin off Lampoon-like Star Wars comedies.
What about a Animal House style story about some Padawan learners that are in their early 20′s and it could be directed by John Landis? They could do a Bachelor Party style movie about Annakin getting hitched. They could do a Midnight Run movie with Boba Fett, a 40 Year Old virgin movie about Obi-wan finally getting laid.
I need to start making some pitches to The House of Mouse.
Ladies, if you want to dress in a sexy outfit that appeals to both sides of your partner, the geek and the man, then look no further than these
Pacman inspired pasties
Episode V, the first podcast of 2013, in which we discuss the time travel problems of Looper, how the kid from Looper got the job, question if Django’s dick is real, why Picard would go back in time and choose to return to the worst possible moment, Dalton playing QB, the blinking lights of Data, boot knives, and the power of telling your friends.
Ol’ George Lucas has popped the question to his long-time girlfriend. I wonder if he’ll re-edit his wedding videos and have it so full of CGI that it will piss off his future wife?